Well, with no conscious effort, I think I’m going to ring in a big loss tomorrow on the scale.
(Let’s hope I’m not humbled and end up with egg on my face and a gain, eh?)
And I don’t mean “no conscious effort” in a bad way. It’s been effortless in a good way. I’m getting over being sick, so starting to feel better. We got through some difficult situations at work and home, so don’t have that dread anticipation going on. I’m looking forward to actually being able to breath enough to exercise for real again tomorrow. I haven’t really thought about eating, dieting, food, etc., well, at all all week.
This intuitive eating thing has freed me of some weight but more importantly has freed me from obsessing and thinking about food constantly. In the past, I’d think about food as much when I was dieting as not. Even more. But now, I’m living my life. Without food being the center. Without food being the answer. Without food being the escape, the comfort. the need.
I’m eating what I want. Even chocolate. But I’m just not as needy.
And I finally living out (as opposed to intellectualizing/analyzing) that food is not a good way to deal with stress — it just makes it worse. And heaven knows I don’t need any more of that.
I don’t feel deprived. I feel nurtured. In spite of the ups and downs of recent weeks.
Food is becoming divorced, decoupled, disassociated from dysfunctional coping methods.
Have I entered some strange parallel universe of normalcy?
Come see me tomorrow and see how this week went, in the end.
My week’s been crazy, not me — well, no more than usual. However, I continue to lose weight, so apparently this is good for keeping me busy. I really haven’t been thinking much about food. (There’s a lot more time to do stuff, by the way, when one isn’t thinking about food all day. And doing more stuff begets more ideas and projects and opportunities. So busy, busy!)
Everything’s getting too big, which is neat.
My clothes are too big. I’ll be sorting out stuff for eBay and donation this weekend. I will be sans jeans for a few more pounds because I’m right in between sizes and not willing to buy any more clothes right now. C’est la vie. (Maybe I need to dress like a grownup more often.) The jeans that are too big literally fall off during the day, which is not practical whether I’m working or mothering.
My shoes are too big. I don’t have many pairs of shoes, though, so not a huge deal. However, at some point, I’m going to have to buy some basics replacements. I can only wear my Birks so much and even they are getting too big. My husband is circling like a vulture because they fit him and he likes them.
My rings are too big. I can resize them, but resizing my wedding ring will probably mean ruining the inscription (Guy pour toujours and the date), which makes me sad. I can always have it reinscripted, but it won’t be quite the same. I can’t remember ever really having loose rings. They got so tight at one point that I couldn’t take them off even when I got itchy eczema under them (because they were so tight).
Oh, and my skin is too big and is only going to get worse. Yuck. While I’m looking better in clothes, I have to say I’m not feeling too confident out of them now. I’m getting saggy and dimpled. I may indulge in plastic surgery at the end of this after I give my skin a year or two to shape up on its own. My husband thinks my skin will snap back, but I’m 40 and my skin started drooping in my teens (I was traumatized at age 13 or 14 when I failed the pencil test), so I’m not holding much hope there. I’m also not very good at remembering to do things that would probably help, like using lots of moisturizer. I do drink lots of water. Any other tips?
However, in spite of the skin, the other stuff feels good and — for once — I am several months into my health and fitness commitment and I’m still motivated. Nay, let me say, getting even more motivated. How exciting!
You know, I was just in the kitchen, washing dishes before heading to bed (can’t stand waking up to dried up dirty dishes) and I realized — I am a different person. I have made permanent healthy changes. I’m not perfect, but I do pretty well. And I will lose this weight, in time. And I’m OK with that.
I never before believed I really could lose it, let alone for good.
Down 1.4 pounds! I’ll take it. Rough week, unfortunate time of month, and other things I could have used as an excuse, but… I don’t make excuses any longer. No more excuses! Angie gave me a pep talk last week and said that this was my time to do this and you know what? Yes, it is.
I had a moment of clarity last year in which I realized that, until I learned to deal with stress better, I would never stop overeating to deal with stress.
Sounds obvious, right?
So I have experimented and found several things that work for me, not necessarily in this order or in every circumstance:
Support from people (such as my wonderful tea-brewing husband)
However, I continue to lose weight, so apparently this is good for keeping me busy. I really haven’t been thinking much about food. (There’s a lot more time to do stuff, by the way, when one isn’t thinking about food all day. And doing more stuff begets more ideas and projects and opportunities. So busy, busy!)
Loading ...
