September 14 was World Suicide Prevention Day
This is a serious, and personal, post.
Several years ago, my sister sent her husband and teenage son to the store. She then got in the bathtub, put the barrel of a shotgun in her mouth, and shot herself to death. She was 42. She left a husband and four sons, three sisters and a brother.
She had struggled for years with addiction and depression. She had a tough family situation growing up (we had different mothers, same father). Her mother and our father both died young. She had a past that included child sexual abuse and she ended up pregnant as a result. She dealt with the pregnancy in a way that she regretted.
I’ll always regret not having been there for her. I found out much of this after her death. In our family, you don’t discuss the undiscussable — and much of this was considered so.
If any of you reading this have considered suicide, please talk to someone. If someone you know mentions thinking about suicide, please listen. If you don’t have a friend or family member you want to confide in or don’t know what to do if someone needs help, here are a few sites that can help:
In the US: http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
In the UK and ROI: http://www.samaritans.org/
World-wide: http://www.befrienders.org/
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Thanks for writing this post, it is such a big issue and one that doesn’t get the attention it deserves. I am really sorry to hear about your sister, it is a heartbreaking story. My mum and brother both have manic depression and ride quite a roller coaster of emotions that have often led to hospitalisation. My mum has attempted to take her own life many times and it never gets easier.
I’ll be thinking about your sister and all the other people who have suffered in this way today.
A,
Thanks for being willing to share this with so wide an audience. I agree 100% that we need to be vigilant to care for those who are contemplating suicide. We need to take it very seriously and do everything we can to prevent it.
Your post also reminds me of another aspect of this that doesn’t get talked about much: The need to be mindful to care for those loved ones who are left behind after a successful suicide.
I still remember how devastating this event was to you and your family. I’m also reminded of my college roommate whose father suddenly committed suicide. It completely changed my friend’s zeal for life, the amount of time he spent time with his friends, his philosophical and religious convictions — it shook him to the core. It took him many, many years to recover.
Of course, it is always difficult to lose someone. However, losing someone to suicide brings with it an even more intense swirl of emotions: guilt (“I didn’t do enough!”), anger (“How selfish can you get?”), confusion (“What happened?”), etc.
All the more reason, why I appreciate your willingness to post this. Thank you.
So sorry to hear about your sister. And the tragic thing is how as a society we keep cutting programs that provide mental health support, and continue to condemn those suffering from mental health issues rather than supporting them.
Not all suicides can be prevented, of course, but we should be putting so much more effort than we into making help accessible and affordable!
Thanks, guys — appreciate your support and you make wonderful points! And, Ant, I’ll always be grateful for having your and C’s support afterwards!
thank you so much for sharing this as for as difficult as it was to write Im sure—-Im also certain youve touchedhelped more than a few people.
my words fall flat for what I want to convey.
M.